• Senior Designer
  • Dog Mom
  • Not Going Anywhere If It’s Snowing

At A Glance

Office Superlative:
Most Likely to be Angry About the Existence of Bananas

Favorite Go-To GIFs:

The Low Down

Maria is our wildly talented senior designer, and is probably the person in the office you least want to piss off. Though kind at heart, she’s also as quick with a curse word as she is a design file. Don’t let her sailor’s mouth scare you, though — if your project is in her hands, you can be comforted by the fact that she gets things done, and when they are, they look fantastic.

Away from Photoshop, Maria enjoys her dog Riley, a tidy space, a beer or a cocktail, and … probably some other things, but I’ll be honest with you, I know way more about what Maria doesn’t like. That list includes the outdoors, Brussels sprouts, people, snow, desserts, skunks, and bananas. Good heavens, does she hate bananas. If you take anything from this bio, let it be that you should never offer Maria a banana. If you do, your next stop will be the bathroom, to wash the mushed banana off your face.

I realize that this bio paints Maria as some kind of angry tyrant, but that’s not really the case. She just happens to be pretty vocal about those things. She’s an uber-talented designer with a background in advertising, and if your brand is in her hands, consider yourself fortunate. And at her core, she’s a very nice and caring person, though she’s probably going to get mad at me for saying that.

For The Gram